Monday, February 11, 2008

Patience....

The harder your life is then the easier it'll get...i tell myself that almost everyday. This is the code i try to live by, going through life forcing a happy-go-lucky personality that i've adapted to.

I can close my eyes and see myself in a room with iron walls, the air so dank, i hold my breathe so i don't choke. Only a thin stream of light comes from above. I feel the walls and my hands are dirty from the rust around the rivets. I want to wash my hands. Im looking at myself, dark alone, angry, isolated. The same thing happens all the time. I close my eyes, see myself, and my own image stares back at me as if i've been caught. I can't run, The feeling of being caught forced onto me. The same feeling you would get if your wife caught you fucking some other girl, and you just couldn't stop fucking her. Ive exposed myself to myself and I want to get out.

I can feel myself ready to explode. My heart pounds and pounds, but for the wrong kind of passion. I Stomach turns, i don't have patience, at least not like what i used to. Ive been forced to become an asshole by the people closest to me. I've realized common sense is not so common. Etiquette, Tact, Common Sense, is lost in this world or at least in mine. My personal possessions and personal space have all been taken from me and I feel exposed. Everything is sacred to me but Nothing is sacred to those who are around me and the only way i can express myself is self pity.

I need to leave...

i can't even collect my thoughs right...

I need to get away from disrespectful assholes who don't know where boundaries lie, when the white chalk is written right in from of them.

Fucking cunts, who the fuck do you think you are, i hope i can see you 5 years from now, going nowhere in your life, while i'm making money finishing school and smoking a bowl, i'd happily take a shit on your life. I'm letting this fucking asshole out. You deserve it

1 comment:

living proof said...

hallelujah.
love you and your body.